Wednesday, April 30, 2008

That's A First

You're having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day when you drop your only set of car keys through the one inch opening between the elevator and the floor, down the shaft.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Not Quite Waterboarding, But...

We just spent over an HOUR talking about a sample MULTIPLE CHOICE exam question. Yale students never cease to amaze me in their ability to take simple exercises and confound them into a philosophical exegesis about the metameaning of life, law, the universe, and everything.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Four Random Observations

1) Ladder 49 is among the worst movies I've ever seen.

2) No AIM chat name selected during the internet's dial-up days has withstood the test of time more than mine has. I still think 'Lubester' is cool.

3) I have the greatest girlfriend in the world, even if she did pick out Ladder 49 from Blockbuster tonight.

4) The new Yankee Stadium may come bearing gifts, but it won't have Section 39 of the Right Field bleachers.

Red Sox Fan at Yankee Stadium, courtesy of College Humor.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Tilting At Windmills?

Dear Broker Guy,

My girlfriend and I are looking for a 1 bedroom (or convertible 2) in an elevator, pet friendly building. We're happy to consider doorman and non-doorman buildings alike, but we would prefer that you don't waste our time with anything sketchy and easily accessed. We will not pay more than $X,000 per month and we want at least X00 square feet. We want to live in or near Gramercy Park. Not "Gramercy." We don't want to live East of 3rd Ave, North of 23rd, West of Madison/Broadway, or South of 16th.

If you've anything available, we can be in the city next Friday and Saturday to look.

Thanks for your help.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Pretentious Prestige

I think people that wear law review clothing, like sweatshirts and zip-ups, are compensating for not getting to wear varsity team clothing in high school. I don't remember people doing this at Stanford. But, I wasn't so jaded a law student two years ago. Maybe I just didn't notice this phenomenon as a 1L. In any case, I think that wearing a resume on your sleeve is too pretentious a behavior to go unmentioned here.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I Award You No Points. And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.

To appreciate the humor in this e-mail, assume that (1) I have not done a single page of class reading all semester, (2) I have a Harry Potter IQ of 0, and (3) there are about 100 people in this course. Enjoy.
Dear Class:

Attached please find the papers filed with the U.S. District Court in the case of Warner Bros. & Rowling. v. RDR Books (S.D.N.Y.). The case has been fast tracked to combine a hearing on the preliminary injunction motion filed by Rowling and Warner Brothers with a trial on the merits. The trial is scheduled to begin on Monday, April 14, at 9:30 am. in New York City.

We will debate the issues presented herein that same morning during class...

Panelists Lipari, Lopez, and Lubin (F&#*# *@#!!!) will be asked to present arguments for Rowling; Panelists Magaram, Maki, Manohar and Mendozo will argue for RDR Books.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

Department of Redundancy Department

"Americans who believe in the Second Amendment believe it’s a constitutional right." - Hillary Rodham Clinton, First Lady of the United States, Senator of New York.

And this whole time I thought we were arguing about how we should interpret the constitutional right! I wasn't aware that the Second Amendment debate actually turned on whether it was, in fact, a constitutional right. In that case, call me a staunch Second Amendment supporter.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

When I Was Your Age

On my way to this NoHo coffee shop (where I am STILL trying to put this thesis to rest), I overheard a man explain to his daughter how people once used a machine called a "typewriter," before computers existed, to write things on paper by slamming metal keys that left ink.

It wasn't all that shocking, I guess. But, um, I remember learning to type on a typewriter.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

When Locals Attack

To the Members of the Yale Community:

Consistent with federal reporting requirements and in order to increase awareness of personal safety, I write to let you know that today at approximately 1:30 pm, New Haven and Yale Police responded to a report of a man being shot at with a bb gun on Elm Street near High Street. Two teenaged males, 13-16 years of age, shot in the direction of the man walking on Elm Street. They are 5'8" tall; one was wearing a black backpack, and the other, a dark zippered hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans. Fortunately, the man, who is not affiliated with the University, was not seriously injured.

Anyone having information about this incident should call the Yale Police immediately. If you should witness suspicious activity, please report it immediately to the Yale Police at 432-4400.


Chief James A. Perrotti